Monday, June 18, 2018

Why Victims of Abuse Can Take Years to Tell Their Truth

On a daily basis here at the FACT office we speak to victims / survivors of abuse. Some of the victims / survivors want to expose their abusers and the abuse that occurred while many are not willing to come forward yet.

We can understand and empathize with all victims, abuse of any kind is Never ok. For those struggling to speak up and tell their stories, their Truth, we understand how hard it can be. First and foremost dealing with the trauma itself and figuring out how to heal from it and then there is a plethora of circumstances and potential ramifications one considers when deciding on whether to speak up or not.

For those struggling to figure out if and when they will speak their truth, here are a couple of articles that may be of use to you.

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/since-you-asked-roy-moore-here-is-why-victims-of_us_5a0724e5e4b0cc46c52e6ae6

According to the Huff Post article above, some of the reasons why victims take years to come forward are:

  1. "Perpetrators and their allies undermine victims’ credibility and impugn their character. If you own a TV, read the newspaper, or have an Internet connection, you have seen how victims are portrayed in the media when they come forward.
  2. The community often rallies around the perpetrator and pillories the victim. If you have ever interacted with a victim or supporters of an alleged perpetrator, you have probably witnessed this. Predators groom individuals and entire communities so that they gain the trust of victims and so that they have a convenient “good guy” cover in place in case they are exposed.
  3. Victims face a barrage of questions when they come forward instead of the sympathy and support they need. Why didn’t you speak out sooner? Why didn’t you try to stop the attacks? These questions add to the trauma and horror of sexual violence.
  4. Victims sometimes have kept in touch with their perpetrators. Maybe they continued dating, working together, or interacting politely at family events. Continued contact with a perpetrator is also very common. Often this factor alone keeps victims trapped in silence.
  5. Not reporting allows a victim to maintain the fantasy that people in positions of responsibility would be helpful if he or she did report. Reporting often crushes that fantasy when responsible people protect themselves and the perpetrator instead.
  6. A lot of victims prefer to create an alternate reality, one in which the abuse didn’t happen. If a victim is hiding behind a facade of success, competence, and achievement, admitting past abuse can shatter that facade. Being the victim of sexual violence is highly stigmatized. No high-functioning person wants to be viewed as damaged.
  7. Victims find it easier to pretend to be normal and live a lie than face the horror of sexual abuse and trauma.
  8. Victims often fear that coming forward will result in the loss of employment, support network, housing, reputation, and even their lives. Victims involved in athletics and extra-curricular activities may fear loss of playing time and access to important opportunities.
  9. Some victims simply don’t remember. I had suppressed the memories of my abuse and still do not have linear memories of it.
  10. In the case of child sexual abuse (and oftentimes abuse of adults), reporting can disrupt every relationship important to the victim. Family members and friends choose the easier narrative: that the victim is lying. Believing someone has lied is easier than believing that a loved one has raped a child.
  11. Victims might not know who to tell. Do you tell a friend? A pastor? The police? Since sexual violence is shrouded in a code of silence, sometimes the impediment to timely reporting is that victims literally do not know what to do. Some may not even realize initially they have been a victim of sexual violence in the first place.
  12. Some victims are under the mistaken impression that you cannot report at all if you do not report immediately.
  13. Some victims tried to report and were told there was no recourse. In some cases, victims disclosed to allies of the perpetrator who told them not to tell anyone else, further fortifying the prison of silence. Who would take the risk and report again after that?
  14. Victims may have been committed a crime or infraction of rules around the time of the crime. Underage victims who have been drinking at a party, for example, could fear getting in trouble and decide it is not worth the risk of reporting the sexual assault.
  15. Naming an act of sexual violence makes it real. Keeping silent is a way of protecting oneself.
  16. The victim feels indebted to the perpetrator. For example, if the victim is an elite athlete, he or she may feel as if she owes the coach his or her silence.
  17. Child victims may have been under the misguided impression that they were in a consensual relationship with a much older person. In this case, it can take a long time to realize that the “relationship” was actually a sexual crime."
Another great article and reference is: 
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/why-abuse-victims-wait-until-their-twilight-years-to-come-forwar/

These are just a couple of references, there are numerous books, videos and articles on these particular topics all of which can be very useful and we'll talk about more of these in a later blog posts.

We understand the struggles that are faced, you can recover and heal from what has happened to you, stay strong! We are here for you!



The FACT Team

Saturday, June 16, 2018

BBC Documentary - Forced Child Marriage Laws in America

We were recently contacted by the Development Producer at Sugar Films in the UK. They are making a BBC documentary about the child marriage laws in the USA.

They are looking for "people who may have been victim of forced child marriage in the past 10 years". 

If you or someone you know have been a victim of forced child marriage and would like to participate and share your story please contact them at naomi@sugarfilms.co.uk


Thank you,

The FACT Team

Thursday, June 14, 2018

Recent Complaint Filed on Kabbalah Centres

A recent Complaint that was filed with our office about the Kabbalah Centres and it's current leadership.
  
"CULT GROUP INFORMATION:
Name of Cult Group or Church: Kabbalah Centre

Where: All of them: LA, NYC, Miami, Tel Aviv, Moscow etc

Leader(s): XXXX Family - XXXX is the cult leader now

Please describe the cult activity: Please see group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/timesupKC/ - and several reports on FB and there is a recording of an ex-KC teacher from Argentina (in English) explaining it all.

Are you aware of any human rights violations, emotional/physical abuse, illegal activity?
Yes, several including rapes and sexual harassment

Please be as detailed as you can. Too many to put here but there are KC teachers who abused their students and Karen Berg the cult leader covers up all the abuses.

Involvement with group: If yes, please explain.

1) When did you/they get involved & for how long? 8 years

2) How did you/they get involved? How were you/they directly recruited? media

3) Are there other family members involved? not now

4) Has their been a disconnection of relationship(s) with family, old friends? yes

5) What are the circumstances currently? I am now helping the victims.

Impact from group: Please describe how you believe to have been harmed and/or wronged by this group. Be as detailed as possible, and send any supporting evidence via the email below. I have been manipulated and lied to. I am now helping the victims as I am a licensed clinician.

Is there anything else that we should know or you would like to tell us: Please tell us anything else you think we should know.

If you have additional files, links, etc. that you'd like us to be aware of, please send them to the email address below.  Ok"


 If you have any experiences or knowledge about any human rights violations, crimes or abuse at any of the Kabbalah Centres, please e-mail us at https://www.familiesagainstcultteachings.org/cult-help/contact.html

Thank you,
The FACT Team

Tuesday, June 12, 2018

Arm Yourself With Education

We have been receiving a higher than usual rate of Support emails and calls from people seeking help about loved ones in controlling groups and situations.

These situations can be extremely frustrating and while parents, friends and family can get very desperate for help and solutions it is important to arm oneself with as much knowledge on the topic as possible. Most situations do not resolve overnight, they require finesse, educating oneself on all aspects of the situation, strategic planning and patience.

For those struggling to get a loved one out of a cult or abusive situation we recommend educating yourself thoroughly. Educate yourself on how cults and manipulators recruit, what their tactics are, how they gain "control" over someones mind, choices etc. There are several books on the topic of Undue Influence / Mind Control, Cults and Abuse. Here are a few that we recommend.

1. Cult Proofing Your Kids by Dr. Paul R. Martin

2. Cults - What Parents Should Know by Joan Carol Ross, Ed.M and Michael D. Langone, Ph.D.

3. Freedom of Mind Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs by Steven Hassan 


We have compiled a 40 page Resource File that will assist you in looking at all the options with these type of situations. If you would like a copy e-mailed to you please send us an e-mail requesting this and in the Subject line please put "Send Resource File" - send request to :
Support@FamiliesAgainstCultTeachings.org

In addition we have free pdf files on our website under the Education section that can be printed and shared. https://www.familiesagainstcultteachings.org/Cult-Education/Fact-sheets/

We are here to help in anyway that we can.

Best,

The FACT Team

Friday, June 8, 2018

Help Change the Legal System - Take This Scientific Research Survey on Undue Influence

Please help Steve Hassan, Cult Expert, by taking this Scientific Research Survey.

"A year ago, I announced a new effort to research, publish, educate, and update the legal system in the United States and, hopefully, around the world. The law still operates using a “rational agent” model, saying essentially that once you reach the age of majority, you make rational choices.  However, in the past fifty years especially, there has been a huge amount of research to show that humans are rationalizing but are not rational."

The survey begins gathering important raw data needed.

Read more here: https://freedomofmind.com/scientific-research-survey-to-understand-influence/

Here is the link to the Undue Influence Survey which will take approximately 30-45 minutes.

Thank you for you contribution to this important research.

The FACT Team