If you want to become a member of the 'Word of Faith Fellowship' church in Spindale, NC, first you need to be "checked out" and approved by their leader Jane Whaley. Once accepted, you are given the rules. Some of our "favorites" include:
#3 You will be required to smile on command.
#19 Don’t read books that are not approved by leadership.
#50 Don’t complain when the offering plates are passed more than once.
#78 Don’t interview for a job unless it is “under authority”.
#80 Don’t make plans for college unless you have Jane check it out.
#118 Don’t let WOFF children play with children outside of WOFF.
#133 Don’t start a relationship without checking it out with Jane.
#134 Don’t decide who you will marry without checking it out with Jane.
#137 Don’t complain about the list of “dont's”.
#144 Don’t attack those in authority.
#145 Don’t question Jane’s authority to run WOFF.
Lastly, we hope you will be with us for many years to come. Don’t worry about memorizing this list. When you violate a “don’t”, you will be told-“We don’t do that”.
For the complete list of Do's and Dont's, download it here.
(created by an ex-member of the church based on personal experience)
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